We're Not Talking About Batman, Are We?
by My God Can Beat Up Your God
Summary: Team Seven sits down to watch a movie before the start of the Chunin Exams, and Sasuke and Naruto argue over ethical differences. Just who was the real hero of Batman Begins, anyway?


**A/N:** I needed a short break from There and Back Again.  
Ch. 635, man... _BURN IT ALL_.  
Sasuke is Ra's al Ghul's lost son.

* * *

Sasuke raised the remote and clicked the TV off as both Naruto and Sakura turned to give him 'the look' in unison.

"What?" Sasuke said. "Credits are annoying."

"The music was nice," Sakura murmured.

Sasuke shot her a glare and Sakura shrunk further into her seat.

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably on the far side of the couch. "I think I left some popcorn in the microwave," he lied. "I'll be right back... probably."

All three genin watched in silence as their sensei poofed out of the room.

After a moment, Sasuke broke the silence. "That movie was stupid."

"No way," Naruto jumped from his seat. "That movie was awesome! I wanna be a ninja just like him! Except I won't be a bat... I'll dress up as something cooler."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Like what, a tarsier?"

"What's that?"

"They're, er, orange-ish."

"Yeah, like that! And I'll call myself Tarsierman!"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "You do know we already _are _ninjas though, right?"

"And Batman wasn't a ninja," Sasuke added. "He was just a civilian. Bruce didn't even have any jutsus."

"Well, it _is _a fantasy world," Sakura pointed out. "Science fiction worlds operate under different rules."

"Whatever," Sasuke folded his arms and sunk into the couch irritably. "Batman's outfit was stupid, his voice was stupid, he didn't get to avenge his parents and the good guy even died at the end."

"Now who's stupid, teme?" Naruto grinned. "Bruce Wayne wasn't dead. Were you even paying attention?"

"I wasn't talking about Bruce Wayne," Sasuke said. "I was talking about Ra's al Ghul."

Naruto stared at him in confusion before the words clicked and his expression morphed into a scowl. "Ra's al Ghul wasn't the good guy!"

"Of course _you'd _say that, idiot," Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Bruce Wayne doesn't understand what it means to be an avenger."

"Sure he does," Naruto said. "He was avenging his parents' deaths by protecting the city of Gotham. It's what they would have wanted him to do."

"That's not what it means to be an avenger," Sasuke said. "A true avenger wouldn't protect the city responsible for the death of his parents."

"Uh, Sasuke... Gotham City didn't kill his parents. That one mugger did..."

"That _one mugger _only existed because the city was corrupt. It's not enough to just kill the man who murdered his parents. Gotham was full of criminals and murderers—anyone could have done it," Sasuke insisted. "Joe Chill may have pulled the trigger, but Gotham was the one who killed his parents. Bruce should have stayed with the League of Shadows."

"There are plenty of good, innocent people in Gotham City, Sasuke! They don't deserve to die!"

"All of those people just sat around living in filth. They knew Gotham was corrupt but they didn't do anything about it. They're just as responsible."

"They couldn't have done anything even if they wanted to!"

"That's because they were weak."

"What kind of..." Naruto stopped talking and gaped at him for a second. "Ra's al Ghul wants to destroy an _entire city_ just because of a few bad people! How can you not think he's crazy?!"

Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, but Sakura cut him off. "Well, I can't believe Batman just abandoned everyone who cared about him just to go train with some crazy cult in the mountains. I mean, he was gone so long everyone thought he was dead! What kind of person does that?" Sakura shook her head. "What about that girl he grew up with? Didn't he think about her feelings at all?"

"Who cares about some stupid girl?" Sasuke said. "He had more important things to do."

Sakura promptly flushed and moved to go sulk in the corner.

Fifteen minutes later, Kakashi returned to find the room in shambles. Naruto and Sasuke had each other by the collars and Sakura was curled up in the corner looking like someone had flushed her goldfish down the toilet.

"_You're _dumb!"

"No, _you're _dumb!"

"You're _dumber!_"

Geez, couldn't he leave them alone for five minutes without them trying to murder each other?

Kakashi let out a long suffering sigh. "Okay boys, break it up."

At the sound of Kakashi's voice, Naruto jumped away from Sasuke and pointed accusingly at Sasuke. "SENSEI, SENSEI, SASUKE THINKS IT'S OKAY TO GAS AN ENTIRE CITY FULL OF PEOPLE WITH HALLUCINOGENIC DRUGS THAT MAKE THEM HYSTERICAL and PSYCHOTICALLY VIOLENT!"

"That is _not _what I—"

Kakashi pat Naruto placatingly on the head. "Now, now, Naruto, I'm sure Sasuke didn't mean—"

"I _said _that people who live their lives in ignorance deserve whatever fate has in store for them—which may or may not include being gassed with hallucinogenic drugs that make everyone hysterical and psychotically violent."

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID!"

"Ah..." Kakashi scratched his head. "Calm down, Naruto. It's only a movie."

_It's not as if Sasuke actually plans on taking out an entire city_, Kakashi thought. _Although now I'm a little thankful that the Uchiha aren't in charge of the Konoha Police Force anymore..._

"It's like Ra's al Ghul said: When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural."

"What the heck's that supposed to mean? What, you wanna burn the town to the ground too?"

"It's a _metaphor_," Sasuke crossed his arms irritably. "But it wouldn't be completely outside the realm of justice."

"YOU ARE A _CRAZY PERSON, _SASUKE!"

Naruto immediately launched into another tirade (it mostly involved insulting Sasuke's mental state) and Kakashi drooped in defeat. Okay, maybe Sasuke _was _serious. Since when had his cute little students turned into such moral crusaders?

_Irrational, bloodthirsty moral crusaders, that is_. _I hope the village never does anything to offend his delicate sensibilities. He might try to blow up the whole thing on principle. _Kakashi shook his head at the thought and chuckled lightly to himself as he reached into his back pocket and opened up Icha Icha Paradise. Like that would ever happen.


End file.
